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Surely I should feel great!?

 

We've just got back from 4 days break in Torquay at our favourite B&B - The25. It's a lovely place to stay with luxury accommodation including a tv in the bathroom!
It's Easter break from work (I'm a teacher) and according to everyone else, and me, I should be relaxed and happy.
Instead I'm anxious about going back to school next week, always tired, depressed and thinking things no one wants to think. So much so that I can't even bring myself to write the words.

I've been taking Prozac for years and have no idea if it actually helps or not.
I feel shit. I don't think I like my job anymore - 17 years and counting...
I get angry, impatient, upset and can't think straight.
I'm more worried about what others think of me than how well I am so make things worse with denial.
I've got 11 lessons left with year 11 before their exams and they're fucked. Mostly lazy and / or unsuited to the course.


I'm looking for what jobs are out there. My salary is good even if it is below inflation and going in reverse. I can't complain. I'm going to struggle to match it but need to do the job I love or something similar and keep my sanity.

I feel weak and less than my colleagues but am reaching the point where I realise I can't compare myself anymore.

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